Re-Framing

Allen Schreiber • July 15, 2021
Negotiate in their world. Persuasion is not about how bright or smooth or forceful you are. [...]

I recently came across a book, which I read years ago, written by an FBI hostage negotiator named Chris Voss. In his book, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It, Voss discusses how he applies what he learned in the business world to his negotiation strategies and tactics in law enforcement.


One of his key points is that humans are emotional beings who make emotional decisions and then try to rationalize those decisions.


Throughout the book, there are compelling examples of how, in response to emotional decisions and “logical” rationale, asking better questions, gathering more information, and re-framing conversations can lead to better outcomes.


I can readily apply that approach to my mediation practice.


A recent case involved a routine car accident. The facts of the case were simple., the subrogation amount seemed manageable, and the plaintiff had made a good recovery. Nevertheless, the plaintiff told his lawyer that he would never settle for less than $500,000, which was far above the value of the case.

Quote by Chris Voss

I recently came across a book, which I read years ago, written by an FBI hostage negotiator named Chris Voss. In his book, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It, Voss discusses how he applies what he learned in the business world to his negotiation strategies and tactics in law enforcement.


One of his key points is that humans are emotional beings who make emotional decisions and then try to rationalize those decisions.


Throughout the book, there are compelling examples of how, in response to emotional decisions and “logical” rationale, asking better questions, gathering more information, and re-framing conversations can lead to better outcomes.


I can readily apply that approach to my mediation practice.


A recent case involved a routine car accident. The facts of the case were simple., the subrogation amount seemed manageable, and the plaintiff had made a good recovery. Nevertheless, the plaintiff told his lawyer that he would never settle for less than $500,000, which was far above the value of the case.

So a mediation was scheduled.


During the first mediation caucus, I asked the plaintiff to explain why he thought his case was worth so much money. I soon recognized that the plaintiff:


  • had misconceptions about how the settlement money would be treated (he was unaware that any money he received would be treated favorably for tax purposes); and


  • didn't understand his outstanding medical bills (he had unknowingly received a significant invoice from an out-of-state medical provider which, if owed, would greatly impact the amount of settlement.


After resolving these issues, the case settled – for far less than the plaintiff’s $500,000 line in the sand. This is just a simple example of the importance of re-framing the conversation to determine what is driving a person’s judgement.


My most valuable takeaway from Voss’s book is that the better you listen, the more information you’ll receive, and the better the negotiation will be.


In the book, there are several basic mediation principles that you’re likely to recognize (and are probably using already) and may give you additional ways to improve your communication and listening skills.

Never Split the Difference

Overall, Never Split the Difference is a great read that is applicable to effective negotiation and is truly a noteworthy book about communication.

Schedule your next ADR session via our convenient online calendar, or call Carol Waldrop at 855-754-8807.